Sunday, February 04, 2018

Taking Care of Business - you!

Self Care - what does it mean? What does it really mean? It means including you in your planning, it means being aware of keeping yourself centered and in focus. It means not running yourself ragged endlessly for other people.  It might mean saying "No" sometimes. (yah  - I am still working on that one too!)

I am being absolutely sincere - you matter, often much more than you realize. To your family, friends and animal companions  - but also to the person who was feeling down that you smiled at,  and to the person who asked you for directions and ended up being on time for the job interview (that you didn't even know you were helping them with). You mean something to the judge you thanked for the fun day or the competitor who was thrilled you noticed how lovely their dog was. You touch people regularly and odds are pretty good you have no idea of the impact of you. Sometimes a kind or thoughtful Facebook comment or emoji has a bigger impact than you realize (Which is a little amusing really as you sure feel the impact of other people don't you? I do!)

Those of you who have followed this blog for any time at all know I like quotes and while the self care world is full of trite and inane quotes that make me shout at the computer at times
 I  still curated a few to look more closely at  as  2018 gains steam. Because really - why not make this the year of YOU!!  I've also included some links to some of the things that I have that might help you with self care. Well they will help you - I have plenty of assurances from others that they do but ... imposter syndrome and all that jazz ....

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. 
– William James

Thoughts are guests in your body. They are. It's  tough concept that regularly comes up in my FDSA classes  so I get it if this makes you snort in derision. But you can learn to take control of your thoughts rather than letting them control you. One thing that many people find helpful is to pick one thought that is moderate and work on it  "irate thought - you don't belong go away!" or whatever.

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
 – Jack Kornfield

This reminds me of the notion of charity beginning at home. If you can't be good to yourself, at least sometimes, how can you truly be good to anybody else? Easy to say - harder to do and maybe the choices you make around this are not evident to an outsider but find the little things that are affirming for you. Do them. Cherish them.  When you start to feel on edge and overloaded STOP and think of how you can show yourself a bit of love! If you missed it check out the Love the One You Are (With) ebook/workbook and the facebook page too!

Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness. 
– Deborah Day

You might want to think about joining the Gratitude Project if this is hard for you. It's a pay what you can email that dozens of people have joined and are sending me lovely feedback about noticing small changes in thinking that are leading to deeper appreciation of self and the world around them. It is pay what you can and it's a full year of emails  ... the sign up is set at $60 but if you want to pay more or can only afford less (honestly less is FINE) just let me know via comment, email or FB message and we'll get you in - with great pleasure! I would love to reach 100 people with this project and it literally takes 10 seconds of your time every day. Join us!! PAY WHAT YOU CAN!

It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life. 

– Anne LaMott

That said sometimes it's ok to have a lazy day, a throw away day or otherwise let other people do the heavy lifting for a bit.    I've done my bit to help you through those rough days another way too with task card decks - the concept is you can pull a card out of a deck and get an idea to train or play or whatever you need to just get something done!  There's a specific self care deck I am particularly pleased with. 

Deck Choice

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. 
– Steve Maraboli

So much yes from me on this one. Sometimes because of work, or family we have to do a little of this but it's OK to take a break from an exhausting friend, or even let somebody slide right out of your life.  

Self care isn't easy. It is highly personal - for me self care is not usually taking a bath with candles, wine and a trash novel - it's more likely grooming a dog,  cleaning tack, heading into the woods with dogs and camera  or writing a blog post. But that's alright - it's my self care! Its thoughtful and purposeful and recharges your inner flame. It may inspire you - it may simply mean you can cope with life for a little longer. No matter. It's important. 

Take care of you! For you and for the rest of your world too! Because you matter!!!


If you aren't Canadian you might not know the song this title refers to but I bet you've heard it!

(just in case a video would help refresh your memory!!)

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